Diaper
Blissby
Rachel Lister
There are days when it
seems like all I can make it through is the diapers. Forget the
grand ideas I had of writing books in my free time, sewing my
own curtains, making dinner from scratch every night, if I can
make it through the day without someone having a diaper so soggy
it’s hanging down around their ankles – that is a good day.
Motherhood is some sort of crazy paradox. You instantly want to
give your life to this creature that has somehow taken over your
life, while at the same time grasping desperately to some
semblance of normal. I haven’t figured out yet what normal is
supposed to be.
Everyone has an opinion.
Whether it’s the neighbor who insists that everyone must be
home-schooled, the parent who insists on private school or my
own crazy opinion that the only way we can save the public
schools is to put our kids in them. Grandparents want to feed
temper tantrums with candy. We go back and forth between bribery
and time-outs. You never really know what is going to work. One
thing I have learned though is that you never every say “I
will never . . .” because give it some time. You will do it
too.
I was never going to yell at my
child but I have to admit I yell sometimes. It’s one of those
things you aren’t supposed to say. It makes you a bad parent
or something. All you can really do is try. Anyone who claims to
never have made a mistake with their child is lying.
A lot of the time I wonder if I
am teaching my children anything. Between sleep deprivation,
stress, and above all boredom the days seem to slip away too
quickly. Some days I don’t read books. Some days I’m too
tired to do anything but nurse on the couch watching “Dora”
all day. On my good days I know that doesn’t make me a bad
mother. Ryan surprises me sometimes. He knows his shapes. He
knows his colors. He can count to 15 if you give him something
interesting enough to count. He can write the letters O and C
(this has more to do with the fact that they both look like
balls than anything else) and he can tell me his name starts
with the letter R. He tells me I need a nap when I’m
especially grumpy and even offers to bring me a blanket to tuck
me in. He can calm his brother down just by holding his hand and
smiling, and sometimes if I’m really lucky he says “Mommy, I
love you. You are my best friend.”
I ignore the fact that everyone
he has ever met is also his best friend. I ignore the fact that
he calls every female over the age of ten “Mama”. In that
instant I don’t care what everyone else is doing because my
baby loves me and he is learning despite all my shortcomings.
Then there are the days when I
overachieve. I feel like I have to do everything. I have to
teach him letters, songs, the weather, days of the week, month
and anything else that he could possibly show interest in by the
end of the day. I check out stacks and stacks of books from the
library on frogs, or fish, or dinosaurs. Then we read. We read
before bed, before nap. We read the books we’ve read a hundred
times and the new books. We skim the pages and look at pictures
or spend 10 minutes on one page. Those are the days I feel like
I got something done. But you can’t keep that up every day.
Sometimes we can learn from the silence. We can learn from the
slow ordinary things that we do each day just to survive. The
dishes. The laundry. Cook. Clean up. Cook. Clean up. Cook. Clean
up.
Change the diapers. Change the
diapers. It makes life safe. If we get nothing else done all day
it still gives security.
Best Deal On Disposable Diapers - Disposable
Baby Diaper! |